This article provocatively and facetiously argues that tradwife culture is kinky. When compared with 24/7 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) female-slave/male-master (FS/MM) dynamics, they are strikingly alike. While politically and ideologically distinct, both share the cornerstones of power and control. These are the foundations of Bondage/Discipline/Dominance/Submission/Sadomasochism/Masochism (BDSM), positioning tradwives well within the…